The babies are at such a fun age! And such a difficult age too. We are at the point where going to church feels almost pointless. I guess we are there to teach the babies that this is what we do on Sunday and for the older kids to learn something. I'm certainly not getting much out of it right now. Tobin and I spend most of Sacrament Meeting in the foyer with restless or screaming babies. Today I was interpreting for my deaf friend and both babies started screaming at the same time. Another friend had to take over interpreting so that I could help Tobin take the babies out. I spend all of Sunday School in the halls and/or foyer, and if I'm lucky I get to stay in Relief Society because the babies are so tired they will finally fall asleep. Just nine more weeks until they can start going to Nursery! Wow! (I seriously can't believe they are almost 18 months old already.) What a relief it will be to take them to Nursery and get to sit through a lesson without a squirmy, screaming, or cranky baby on my lap. (But I think I might miss them, too.)
Today was a rough mommy day, all the way around. Church was hard. Tobin taught Elder's Quorum today, so I had both babies with me. I don't mind taking them so he can do his calling. But it does take a lot out of me. Luckily, I have a fabulous visiting teacher and a fabulous sister-in-law who help me out a lot! After church I had some trouble with Maryam. She acts so much like a teenager sometimes. I probably get frustrated too easily, too. I'm really trying to work on being patient and speaking calmly with my children. That all went out the window today. I ended up feeling like I just wanted to run away from home. Alone. This mommy business can be SO HARD!
Don't get me wrong. I really love my kids, and I would not trade them for anything. It's just hard to feel like I have run out of tricks and tools in my mommy bag and things still aren't going right. I think I'm just down on myself right now. Sunday is usually my lift for the week. My chance for renewal. When I don't get to listen or try to feel the Spirit, it's hard to feel renewed. I need to do a better job of finding that lift and renewal on my own all week long. It's just hard to find any time for myself. I already can look around my house and list so many things that need my time and attention, on top of the everyday demands of four kids and a husband.
On the positive side, this coming weekend is our 13th wedding anniversary. We have planned a night away, and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to watch all four kids. (They are saints!) I'm really looking forward to some time to relax and rejuvenate. I know we both need it!
Because I'd love to hear your ideas and get some fresh perspective, feel free to comment and answer these quandries . . .
When you are feeling down or frustrated, what is your best way to break out of the blues?
What are your strategies when you have run out of mommy tools and you want to just throw in the towel?
What do you do for yourself during the week? How do you fit in "me" time?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I can't imagine doing twins. I think you are doubly a saint with two sets. If it makes you feel any better there is a friend in our ward that has a 2 1/2 year old and 6 month old twins and her husband is in the bishopric! Things that help me get out of a funk, 1. music, whether it's me singing or listening to it or dancing to it, it makes me happy. 2. being productive, when I get lazy, which is too often, I feel down. When I get up and start doing productive things I feel so much better (you probably don't have a chance to be lazy, do you?) 3. I also like to escape life through reading. Take time for yourself even if it means some things don't get done. You just have to do it. I
That's rough, but you are doing great!
Also, maybe you solved your Christmas card problem already, but I will respond anyway. I am a somewhat sentimental person, but I really hate a cluttery house, so throwing things out normally wins around here. Why don't you put them away with your Christmas decorations rather than throwing them out. Then, you can look through them one last time the next year, mabye display them and replace the new ones with the old as you get them in the mail. That way you might feel a little better about eventually getting rid of them? PS...I am not offended at all that mine goes in the trash after the season. I expect it (which is one reason I don't go all out with my cards). I bet nobody else cares either:)
A few months ago I was feeling the same thing but from the opposite direction. I never get to sit with my family at Church, it is just another meeting in a day full of meetings helping other people meet their needs. Often I would have the feeling that at least a crying baby isn't really responsible for their actions, a whining adult is.
The Lord is very merciful and helped me sometimes not too gently to find a better attitude and take joy in the service I was doing at the time. I know it sounds trite, but find the positive and accentuate it like Pres. Hinckley always said. You will be thankful one day for these crazy moments.
I know my wonderful sister will find a way to come through this trial with flying colors, making it look easy to those around her like she always does.
By the way check out D&C 109:22, four blessings for attending the temple faithfully. Those are yours, call on them.
Post a Comment